Cooperative Adoption does NO closed adoptions and does not become involved in any “semi open” adoptions. A true open adoption involves direct contact between the adoptive family and the birth family who believe this to be in the best interest of the child. Open adoption means pictures and letters 6-8 times a year, phone calls and emails, as well as one or more visits each year until the child is 18. The adoption agreements is written and filed with the final paperwork. These agreements are called “contact agreements.” In 19 states, such as California, they are “legally enforceable.”

I’m not sure a very open adoption would be right for me? What are my options if I want something which is semi open?                                          

Over the years, my experience has shown that when a parent-to-be begins to learn about the open process, it is fully embraced. The counseling and the education provided seem to be key in understanding that children need to grow up knowing their “genetic relatives.” Longitudinal studies have shown open adoption is what is in the best interest of the child. Also, birth parents consistently have the most complete healing possible when the adoption has been fully open.

Relinquishing a baby or young child for adoption is never an easy decision and will require careful thought and counseling over time. The reasons for choosing adoption over other options are varied, personal, and complicated.

Cooperative Adoptions does not believe in pressuring anyone into choosing adoption.  Counseling is strongly recommended in this process as a way to help clarify the decision making process.  Women who think they may want to keep a baby and parent are encouraged to do so.  Local resources are suggested when needed who can help with baby equipment and supplies for those who choose to parent.

Will I be able to meet the prospective adoptive family before I give birth?

Yes, you do meet the family once you think you might be “matched.” After speaking to a prospective adoptive family several times, you will be invited to come and stay in their home for several days to see how they live and where your baby will be raised. If you are too advanced in your pregnancy to travel, the adoptive couple will travel to meet with you instead. 

I think of counseling or therapy as something more for people who are crazy or have serious problems? What if I don’t want any counseling before I give birth? Who pays for this if I decide to do it?

The adoptive family is responsible for paying for your counseling sessions. It’s true that not all birth parents want counseling. The agencies do provide what is called “advisements” so there is an understanding of the paperwork to be signed. Counseling is usually provided outside the agency with a licensed adoption literate counselor who is there just for you – everything discussed is fully confidential and is provided to help with the difficult decision making process.

How soon after giving birth will I be asked to sign relinquishment paperwork?

States vary, but most have laws governing signing paperwork between 48-72 hours after giving birth. But, at Cooperative Adoptions we do not believe in pushing this before a young women is ready. Birth mothers are never asked to sign relinquishment paperwork while still in the hospital. A c- section delays signing until the mother is released from the hospital and feeling better. Cooperative Adoptions has a focus of long term relationship building rather than getting a “quick” signature. I would rather not name the birth father since we are no longer involved.

Do I have to include him in this process?

In order for the legal process to be fully completed, the father will need to be notified. If he chooses not to sign and return paperwork sent to him, there are state laws written which will terminate his rights legally in the courts. It’s extremely rare for a father to fight an adoption in court after a placement. If the father is truly “unknown,” his rights are terminated in the courts before the adoptive couples finalize. (In almost three decades of doing adoptions, Ellen has only seen one birth father to-be contest a placement. He did not prevail.)

If I am interested how do I begin the open adoption process? 

All ethical adoption practitioners are going to first ask for a pregnancy varification from a doctor or nurse midwife. Ellen will fax a release form directly to the medical office to be placed in your file. If not privately insured, most young women are asked to apply for their local Medicaid insurance. Pertinent information can be emailed initially to read for a better understanding of this process and its many time lines.

I have heard it is possible to get a great deal of money for placing a baby for adoption?  Is this legal?

From time to time newspapers report salacious stories about baby buying or selling. Reasonable expenses can be reimbursed in many states, but not all. Because Cooperative Adoptions has a focus of “relationship building” and “long term connections,” birth parents to-be requesting large sums of money are asked to look elsewhere.

I have heard about a “Hospital Plan.” What is it?

The Hospital plan is several pages filled out by a birth mother to-be. It is about needs, wants, and wishes when giving birth and while in the hospital. Although most adoptive parents are delighted to be invited to be present at the child’s delivery, this is entirely up to the mother-to-be...her needs and her wishes are fully respected and followed. This is her time with the baby and not about the wishes and needs of the adoptive family. Additionally, Ellen does not discourage breastfeeding during this time if this is something she wishes to do.

What is a Home study? 

All prospective adoptive parents whether they be married, single, or gay are required to have a homestudy completed. A homestudy involves a social worker making several visits to the home. Financial information is gathered along with other pertinent information. All prospective families are required to have health physicals as well as be fingerprinted with an FBI clearance. It is Ellen’s policy that the chosen family provide a copy of their home study when matched to a prospective birth family for review. The home study can be kept by the birth family.

What books do you recommend I read which will help me better understand this process?

It is the policy of cooperative Adoptions to provide extensive reading material to those interested. Some of the excellent books available are:

THE THIRD CHOICE by Leslie Foge and Gail Mosconi

LIFEGIVERS by Jim Gritter

THE OPEN ADOPTION EXPERIENCE by Sharon Roszia

MAKING ROOM IN OUR HEARTS  by Micky Duxbury

THE OPEN ADOPTION EXPERIENCE by Jim Gritter

DEAR BIRTH MOTHER by Kathleen Silber

CHILDREN OF OPEN ADOPTION by Kathleen Silber and Pat Dorner

4 ADOPTION BOOKLETS by Brenda Romanchek

IN THIS HOME we believe in living deeply, laughing often and loving always.

We believe we were brought together to care and support each other.

We believe in celebrating together—Our faith, our heritage, our traditions.

We believe that everyone’s feelings count and that the unique of each of us strengthens all of us.

We believe in the power of forgiveness to heal and in the power of love to carry us through.

We believe in one another in this family, in this home.

"Sorrow Looks Back, Faith Looks Up"